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lyrics

oh cillian
you're so sophisticated
the door's still open
whether you walk in
well, i guess that's up to you

i guess there was jordan
but they were so boring
i really tried to settle
but you're so monumental
well, who could top you

you made your mark
visit me in the dark
cillian, you're a star
you don't deserve me
but i can't desert you
you're not something i need
i just know, i just...

oh cillian
you're so avoidant
i'd open the door for you
but i'm not looking through
cuz i've got better things to do

like ask out casey
but they're a real mystery
i tried to tell them the truth
but they can be so aloof
it reminds me of you

you made your mark
visit me in the dark
cillian, you're a star
you don't deserve me
but i can't desert you
you're not something i need
i just know

i deserve to know if it was all in my head
was any of it real
until i know, the cat is both alive and dead
so cruel and banal

the possibility's just killing me
ambiguity is fucking misery
i don't go with the flow
just obstruct the waves till they drown me

credits

from i'll be your secret if you swear to keep mine, released November 4, 2022

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Don't do it, Neil Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

pop music for depressed lesbians • power in misery, traversing the grid of death

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