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i'll be your secret if you swear to keep mine

by Don't do it, Neil

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1.
can i trust what i'm seeing well i believe in something i believe there's meaning no i believe there's nothing can i trust what i'm seeing well i believe in something i believe there's meaning no i believe there's nothing at all i believe there's nothing at all always slipping up i'll drink it up till i can't stand looking for a fight if i see your guy i might throw hands always slipping up i'll drink it up till i can't stand looking for a fight if i see your guy i might throw hands the streetlights shine on me how can i change reality will my silly hopes prevail you and me, that's my true will sex, love, and cigarettes how can i live with my regrets they keep me up all night they keep me up
2.
cillian 03:05
oh cillian you're so sophisticated the door's still open whether you walk in well, i guess that's up to you i guess there was jordan but they were so boring i really tried to settle but you're so monumental well, who could top you you made your mark visit me in the dark cillian, you're a star you don't deserve me but i can't desert you you're not something i need i just know, i just... oh cillian you're so avoidant i'd open the door for you but i'm not looking through cuz i've got better things to do like ask out casey but they're a real mystery i tried to tell them the truth but they can be so aloof it reminds me of you you made your mark visit me in the dark cillian, you're a star you don't deserve me but i can't desert you you're not something i need i just know i deserve to know if it was all in my head was any of it real until i know, the cat is both alive and dead so cruel and banal the possibility's just killing me ambiguity is fucking misery i don't go with the flow just obstruct the waves till they drown me
3.
payday 02:02
cashing in like girl, you're so money, yeah spend you tonight girl, you're so money, yeah payday payday payday payday yeah yeah yeah top thots in adidas tracksuits if you back me, you know i'll always back you hit it from the front, you got suction like a vacuum shower sex, yeah we steaming up the bathroom oh my god, damn girl, you hit the spot yeah you got me like a rock, keep me wound round the clock moans ecstatic, erratic i give girl dick like a faggot i've never been so attracted i'm shooting full automatic we're whipping it like cream i'll be your wet dream girl prince rocking that supreme i like you way more than money been staying up lately waiting for my payday monday tuesday wednesday any day with you is like a payday cashing in like girl, you're so money, yeah spend you tonight girl, you're so money, yeah payday payday payday payday been staying up lately waiting for my payday monday tuesday wednesday any day with you is like a payday
4.
when i do coke with my friends you keep me safe in my head when i'm with her in my bed i wish i was with you instead i want something else i need someone else give me something else are you someone else you're a real mystery but you're so sugary candy sweet i know nothing's as it seems but we're lovers in my dreams you're a real mystery but you're so sugary toothache sweet am i right, could this be a mutual fantasy a mutual fantasy i've been feeling dead inside sick of passing ships in the night cuz all i do is play pretend that it's you who's in my bed could this be something else i don't want no one else could we be something else i don't want no one else you're a real mystery but you're so sugary candy sweet i know nothing's as it seems but we're lovers in my dreams you're a real mystery but you're so sugary toothache sweet am i right, could this be a mutual fantasy sometimes i feel i've got to run away
5.
got me fixed in my thought loops i really tried hard, but it’s hard not to love you you drug me with the lovely, i’m fumbling now i’m stumbling over words, it’s humbling in fact my tact is retracted lemme be candid: you’re so attractive you’re vexing, pulling mab shit in my inception i’m stressing trying to express my affection flexing when i’m sexing, not connecting it’s depressing, but now i’m course correcting i’m reflecting, you’re a blessing, if perplexing decompressing, i always pray before texting the next thing is professing you’re the best thing i’m just venting everything i’ve been repressing so interesting, stressing over texting if confessing doesn’t work, well i really like the friend thing
6.
dashboard 04:08
staring at the dashboard a confessional's all that i'm asking for if it's not right, i'll write all night keep my secrets locked up and safe inside can we break the pattern i'll bear the cross, pierce my heart, let it shatter turn off the lights, pull me inside i'll be your secret if you swear to keep mine oh my, oh my press your body against mine press your lips against my skin i'll be your secret if i can be your only you told me our story's not done but when i draw closer, you always seem to run can we break the pattern does anything we do really matter i'll set it right and give my life and carry us even when you don't try i'm not stupid, i know i'm never on your mind but maybe i'm foolish, cuz you're always on mine i'm not stupid, i know i'm never on your mind but maybe i'm foolish, cuz you're always on mine staring at the dashboard to tell the truth is all that i'm asking for between our sighs, speak no more lies can i tell you everything that's been on my mind i'm gonna break the pattern break through physics and the laws of matter i swear i'll fight to set this right and force myself to swallow my pride don't play stupid, i know i'm always on your mind it's not foolish, cuz you're always on mine don't play stupid, i know i'm always on your mind it's not foolish, cuz you're always on mine on mine, anxiety i blow my chest out, try my best to breathe oh baby, come taste me fuck me all night, come feel my teeth i got teeth, baby i can't sleep, baby come over, baby and fight me, baby i got teeth, baby i can't sleep, baby come over, baby and fight me, baby (pushing me away) (show me love, i'm addicted to your love) (we keep falling apart, we must be getting overfamiliar) (even if everything's okay, i still feel that someday you might just go away) (i really like what's going on) (i'm not getting better, no i haven't been getting better) i got teeth, baby i can't sleep, baby come over, baby and fight me, baby i got teeth, baby i can't sleep, baby come over, baby and fight me, baby
7.
spend your day with me or are you busy if you've got nothing then let's do something it's always "someday" what aren't you telling me you're such a mystery could you make time for me cuz i miss you make time for me cuz i miss you no tact, the sad bitch is back in fact i'm afraid i don't know how to act i might fight over slights, it's not right but in my sight you're so bright and i'm frightened (you brighten my day) when you're around i guess (you lighten my burdens) when you're around i guess i'm less once you've left, i honestly confess i'm the best at making all the best things a mess these things you do to me confuse reality i'm always chasing just show me your hidden face, then be with me could you be with me be with me could you be with me make time for me make time for me make time for me make time for me be with me make time for me make time for me make time for me make time for me

about

Produced, written, arranged, and performed by Mabel Harper as Don't do it, Neil. Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mabel Harper in various bedrooms and living rooms around Philadelphia, PA.
Album artwork by Mabel Harper.

TRACK 1, "meaning": Produced and arranged by Mabel Harper. Written and performed by Mabel Harper and Keira Donnelly. Vocals and lyrics by Mabel Harper. Guitar solo by Keira Donnelly.

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released November 4, 2022

Thank you to all my loved ones. Take care of yourself.

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Don't do it, Neil Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

pop music for depressed lesbians • power in misery, traversing the grid of death

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